The red pen comes out for Flight of Passion

There’s a new EPUB version of Flight of Passion on the Downloads page.

Well, it’s new in the sense that it has a slightly different cover and it has all twelve existing parts. I have a bunch of edits planned that will make significant changes so you can expect to see another version possibly Feb next year depending on how things go.

Here are my plans:

1. Instead of having Erica spying on Caroline and Isamura, she simply walks in on them and tells them to get dressed because there’s a big problem (the loss of power). This requires edits to remove the references to this as well.

The reasoning here is that it’s a bit contrived and I can be more subtle.

2. Cut the part with Tegan and Erica running off together and having sex.

There’s actually something that Tegan needs to tell Erica first, so I’ll be writing a new scene to do that.

3. Cut the stripping around the board game.

Again, it’s contrived and seems to come out of nowhere. I have something in mind that moves the plot along faster.

4. Reduce Isamura’s perception of the ninth member of the team.

It just makes things confusing. Easier for her to have just an inkling.

So if you want to make an argument in favour of keeping the parts I’m planning to cut, you kind of need to make it soon. I am always open to criticism, but it can take a while for me to come up with something on the drawing board to fix things, so sooner is better than later. 🙂